I am dating an extrovert

The text game and sexual attraction were strong across the airwaves. I carried the conversation; regaling him with stories of wild nights out. But the next day he texted me that he’d had an amazing time and wanted to take me out again. How could he possibly have thought that was a good date? I agreed to a second date out of pure curiosity (and horniness).

All my previous boyfriends were life-of-the-party-guys—men who fed off my energy and swept me up in tumultuous emotions. I realized he wasn’t quiet because he wasn’t feeling my vibe; he was quiet because he was a listener who genuinely enjoyed soaking up everything I said. Almost three years later, I’m pretty confident I'm going to marry the guy.

I always assumed that being the loudest person in the room (ahem, me) meant that you were also the most confident. It’s not the person who talks the most who has the most interesting things to say, it’s often the person who only speaks when he or she has something of substance to add to the conversation.

Since 75 percent of people are naturally extroverted—while only 25% of the population are introverts—we're in the majority, which can make it hard to recognize and appreciate personalities that are the antitheses of our own.Don’t get angry with an introvert for being withdrawn in social situations.Help your boo feel comfortable at parties by bringing him or her into the conversation. They're not keeping silent because they hate your friends and they're not bored: Small talk is just exhausting for introverts.Be sure to manage your expectations Expecting someone who isn’t used to texting all the time to text you all time is illogical.So is wanting a guy who isn’t into partying to party with your every weekend.

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One of my favorite things about my relationship is the conversation—introverts think more deeply than extroverts.

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  1. Remember, it’s your job to look for something cool in everyone you meet; it’s not their job to show you. Learning to appreciate people you meet is a skill you cultivate. This doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with everyone who breathes in your direction.

  2. 2013 2013-12-02: Illinois psychologist Zabrin Inan loses license in California 2013-12-02: Psychologist Mark Douglas Kline surrenders license on charges of sex with patient 2013-12-02: Psychologist Smita Ward loses license for sex with patient 2013-12-02: Michigan psychologist disciplinary actions, Aug.-Sept.